New Stuff

A draft i probably should have finished. From earlier this year. Before my life got a little TOO crazy.


"Well folks,
I started attending The Art Institute of Salt Lake City, and may i say.....ITS AMAZING. I love it. I love going to school and learning so many interesting things about photography, photoshop etc. Its really incredible! I do a photoshoot at least once a week now...its insane! Doesn't seem like a lot i guess....but with my crazy schedule....you'd better believe its nuts!

I work 2 jobs. I am a nanny. I am a personal assistant/mothers helper. I go to school full time. I am dating. I go to as many church activities and functions as i can, and still don't make all of them. I have a church calling that im STILL trying to figure out....AND fitting friends in is almost impossible. unless you are Samantha. Then i always find a way.

It is seriously a wonder that i am not going insane.....or maybe i am but im the only one who doesn't know it yet. Thats very possible.

Lets talk men. I realize now that i have a thing for older guys....im not talking 40's and 30's. Im talking at least 4 years difference. Sometimes even 7 years difference. I also have a thing for cowboys...idk if this is because they are manly and have broad shoulders....or if its because they are sweet and gentlemanly. Probably both. But my third "type" that i crave is the "Ryan Gosling type" especially from the movie Crazy Stupid Love."

Emotions

Draft from forever ago.

"It seems to me that there is alot of emotional abuse in this world. Everyone is affecting or affected by it everyday. We abuse eachother....and are abused by others.  Usually this is happening between parent and child. Even if its unintentional...it still happens."

Tis the season!

Draft from a year ago.

"Wow Christmas is almost a week away! Great things happen in the month of December, let me tell YOU!!
There's Gingerbread houses, sugar cookies, chex mix, toffee, hot chocolate, candy-canes, ornaments, Christmas trees, snow storms, PRESENTS, GIFTS, AWESOMENESS, most definitely Jesus, music, movies, singing, family.....etc. ITS FREAKIN WONDERFUL. ANnnDdddd McKenzie passed her Practical exam!!! YAY!!! Hair license, here i come!"

Tips for the Toads

Today i thought that i would do some of you guys a favor. I'm going to give you a glimpse into the female mind. AND some helpful things you can do to ensure that you are given the best chance when it comes to finding that girl. You are welcome.





OBJECTIVE: Get girls.
GOAL: Pull down the creep level and pull up the stud level.

Here are some DON'TS:

• DON'T be a creep.
• DON'T get abnormally close to a girls face, give her some space. We don't care if you have eye problems--just make a special effort. It comes across as SUPER creepy, trust me on this one. AND the worst thing you could do while being inches from her face is make unwavering eye-contact. I call this the "Rapist Stare" --avoid this at all costs.
• DON'T go over the top on the flirtatious touching. An occasional hand on arm is fine, but SERIOUSLY if you aren't bf and gf...give her some space or she will think you are a creep and that she should pull out the pepper spray.
• DON'T tease her about anything image related. Period.
• DON'T lay down rules and guidelines of conduct for her. You aren't her daddy, so don't put yourself there. 
• DON'T give her advice on makeup and style. You aren't and never will be an expert on fashion and femininity. (male fashion is an exception)
• DON'T push her back in the car if she forgets to let you open the door for her. Its not cute. Its not gentlemanly like. Its rude AND annoying.
• DON'T breathe like a dying beast. What a turn off. I mean seriously open your mouth to breathe if its really that hard...
• DON'T force her to eat. Girls sometimes tend to have a lower appetite around guys. Its normal. (I am still trying to figure out if this has something to do with our natural animal instincts to leave enough food for the male--this theory is not proven)
• DON'T be stingy and purposely choose the cheapest restaurant in town and be proud that you did. It makes us feel like dirt. You go on a date to focus on eachother and have a good time--NOT to focus on finances and staying on budget. (This doesn't mean you have to go over budget and spend a million dollars) Show her how important she is.
• DON'T talk about other dates--focus on us.
• DON'T invite a girl to something if you have no intentions of giving her at least 60% of the attention.
• DON'T fart or burp in front of her...NASTY. Be polite.
• DON'T purposely embarrass her until you are well acquainted.
• DON'T lie to her. EVER. Its much easier to be honest...really.
• DON'T correct her like she is a child. Once again, you aren't her daddy so don't put yourself there.
• DON'T think you are the best thing that every happened to the world.
• DON'T overly compliment her. It comes across as fake and its pretty dang annoying.
• DON'T chomp your gum. You will most likely die in 3 seconds.
• DON'T EVER set us up with your friends if it doesn't work out. Its a slap in the face.
• DON'T introduce us to your friends until we have gotten to know each other sufficiently.

I might have to do a part 2 later on... BUT the DON'TS look pretty stable right now.

Here are some DO'S:

• DO be a stud.
• DO ask lots of questions.
• DO make her laugh--this is probably the #1 best thing you can do.
• DO have direction for your life. Girls are attracted to guys who know what they want and where they are going.
• DO make us feel comfortable. We can open up and have alot more fun when this happens.
• DO be spontaneous and romantic. We love surprises and adventure. (well most of us)
• DO let your guard down and act silly. Be yourself.
• DO hold us when we are scared.
• DO be respectful. physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.
• DO talk in mysterious accents.
• DO dress up--its attractive, we may drool mentally and actually.
• DO brush your teeth. The grime is never attractive.
• DO follow up after dates. We love this.
• DO call us more than text us.
• DO make us a priority. over video games, sometimes buds, television, homework.....pretty much everything. This pays off for you in the end.
• DO kiss us like you mean it.
• DO smile and blush frequently. so cute!
• DO be more masculine than feminine. thank you.
• DO have an open mind.
• DO compromise during arguments.
• DO attempt to cook for us.
• DO spoil us.
• DO be brave. We don't want a wimp.
• DO compliment us every once in a while.
• DO buy us flowers---we love them!
• DO make your moves at the appropriate times.
• DO open up. Don't be shy! We love to hear the stuff under the surface layer.

Well there are definitely more DO'S as well so keep your eyes open for segment 2!


 If you don't feel comfortable giving this girl a piggy-back ride by the end of the night--Date = FAIL.

Dress for the type of girl that you want. If you want a girl thats decked out in the trends and wearing those stilettos....YOU gotta put on those italian crocodile shoes. You have to be decked out in the trends too. (NOTE: this just gives you a better chance....there are always exceptions though)

WELL! Thats it for tonight you toads! (GET IT??:) Toads can't get princesses only frogs can cuz they turn in to princes!!!.....well i thought it was funny!)

-Me